Citizen 238 Lyryx

“Belonged there?” Lyryx echoed the words, tilting his head as he considered them. Why wouldn't she have belonged there? Moreover... Had he ever really belonged anywhere? It was becoming rapidly clear he didn't belong out in these woods- Or whatever was left of them. Lyryx shook his head in an attempt to clear the spiralling thoughts from his mind, rolling over onto his back as Kneeven snarled down at him. His tail twisted, the tip digging into the layer of ash beneath him. He hesitated a moment, before opening his mouth again, his words halting and hoarse. His throat may not have been damaged in the fire, but this conversation seemed to rip and tear at him on its way out. “I- I don't know Key. Just- at least you were safe there. At least you were fed. Maybe it was better for-”

“LYRYX.” Kneeven snarled, her claws scoring deep groves in the layers of ash as she started pacing, her tail lashing behind her. His obsession with bringing that place up had been grating for a while, but right now was truly the worst timing she could think of. How could he compare anything to that place? He had never lived there. His family loved him. He had a home to go back to, with parents who surely missed him by now. “I don't want to talk about Canto’s, stop fucking asking, stop trying to get me to talk about it, stop pretending you know anything about it! In fact, it would be better for me, if you would just never bring it up again! I'm tired of repeating myself.” Venom dripped from her words, her tail lashing behind her.

Lyryx closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. She had to understand, he couldn't justify the risk anymore. He loved her too much to put her in that much danger, since clearly he was completely incompetent. He had come along to protect her and now... They had to go back. Maybe- Maybe his mother would help? She… probably wouldn't let them stay together, but maybe if he spun a story about them being more than friends…. But Kneeven would never agree to that, even as a story. But they couldn't keep doing this desperate scrabble every day, only for him to go and fuck it up any semblance of progress they made. Opening his eyes, Lyryx turned to Kneeven, “Kneeven, you know he never meant for you to be so alo-”

“NO.” Kneeven whirled on Lyryx, kicking plumes of ash over him as she snarled, her lips pulled back to reveal her teeth. She was well ready to bite him at this point, but the look on his face jolted her. Her menacing expression dropped as she looked between her only friend’s devastated face and the ash coated remains of their home. The fight dropped from Kneeven and her shoulders sagged “Please stop. I can't do this right now Lyre.” Her voice was soft, almost pleading. How could she have this conversation with him now?

Lyryx pulled himself up to a seated position, brushing as much of the ash off his face as possible. He was silent for a few moments, his gaze traveling around the strip of burned forest and landing on the cracked remains of their only Pithos. They had spent a month earning enough dracm to afford the thing- It wasn't even water tight- and now… now it was sherds spread across what had once been their home. 

A growl rose from Lyryx, and Kneeven’s head jerked up to look at him as the noise built in his throat. “When then? When are we going to have this conversation? When our home is gone? Look around Kneeven! It's gone! Everything we have worked towards this year is ash!” Lyryx snarled, pulling himself to his paws to stalk over to the broken pithos, spinning it around to reveal their ruined food stores. “When are you going to realize I'm not strong enough to keep you safe? When are you going to realize I keep fucking up and you keep getting hurt because of it?” Lyryx’s breath came out in fierce, angrily panting as he stared at his friend’s stunned face. Rendering her speechless wasn't something he had done more than a handful of times, but he wasn't exactly in the best frame of mind to add to the tally.

Kneeven blinked at Lyryx. Wha-What the actual fuck? Kneeven’s eyes narrowed at the teal colored rexal, taking in his defeated posture and panting breaths. Was this supposed to be impressive? Or some great revelation? Ancient’s sake, most of it wasn't even true, what was this drivel?? Kneeven growled, shaking her head and letting the motion travel down her entire body. Her eyes locked onto Lyryx’s, searching his eyes as her legs wobbled under her with exhaustion. Flopping down onto her stomach- Her fur was already caked in ash anyway, more wouldn't be that much of a difference- She looked up at her friend, exhaustion playing over her features. “Lyre. What the fuck am i supposed to do with that?” her voice dropped like a stone between them, the first stone in a wall Lyryx had all too easily torn down when they had first become friends.

Lyryx rose to twos in a flash, waving his arms around as he spoke, stalking towards the prone rexal. “Acknowledge it! Recognize that everything is fucked- again, and its because of me- AGAIN!” Lyryx’s voice cracked as he spoke, large tears running tracks down his ash coated cheeks. Raising a hand, he began listing things off on his fingers as he spun to start pacing in front of Kneeven. “When all of last month's food went rotten? That's on me for not closing the Pithos fully! The infected cut you got? On me for not cleaning the bandages properly! The FIRE?” His voice rose to a feverish pitch, the words raking themselves out of his throat as his voice became more and more strained.

Kneeven snorted, rolling onto her side as Lyryx started counting out his mistakes- she wondered how long it would be before he would need to add this mistake of a conversation to his perceived list of fuck ups. Kneeven closed her eyes, holding back what she wanted to say as he spoke- before his voice broke on the word fire. Her eyes snapped open, blue boring into green “Oh, so you're taking the blame for this then? Well, that's a relief.” Kneeven’s voice was quiet, but laced with warning as she gestured at the husk of their home. 

Lyryx threw his hands up, looking down incredulously at Kneeven. What was that supposed to mean? He was the eldest, it was his job to protect them- and he had failed. He had fallen asleep before the embers had cooled off fully, and they had woken to the creaking of timber all around them, heat pulling at their pelts, and smoke crawling down their throats to suffocate them. Lyryx shook his head to clear the memory, his delay only a heartbeat, leaving very little time for thought or to let conversation to breathe- “Of course it was my fault! I'm the adult-” 

Kneeven cut him off with a bitter laugh, “Wooooooow.” her voice rose as she rolled onto her paws before standing up on twos to look down at the notably shorter Lyryx. “Well then. Thanks. Thanks for that.” Kneeven’s mouth curled into the sourest of smiles as she looked down her nose at Lyryx “Thank you for telling me exactly how little you think of me.” Her voice cracked and broke around her emotions, though her face stayed fixed in that strange, bitter smile.

Lyryx’s head ducked instinctively as Kneeven stood to her full height- She was rarely comfortable on two’s, preferring to be able to move fast rather than look proper. She had never towered over him like this, and it was more than a little intimidating, especially with her expression and tone. Lyryx flinched away from her words, reeling back as if she had struck him. “-What?” What was she talking about? He thought the world of the young rex-

Kneeven laughed again, though it carried no mirth “Oh, everything’s your fault right?” Kneeven stepped closer, her nose millimeters from Lyryx’s as she stared down into his eyes, another salvo of stones falling between the two friends as she rebuilt her walls. “Because of course, I'm just a lost little pup, crying for help, couldn't possibly ever be to blame for anything, right?” Resentment dripped from her lips as she snarled at her friend. This was it, they were finally having this conversation- She hoped it was everything Lyryx wanted.

Lyryx flinched away, backing up unconsciously until his back hit a tree, Kneeven doggedly following his steps as she snarled down at him. “W-Wait, Key that's not-” He cut himself off, processing her words. He.. He didnt think of her like that.. Did he? 

Kneeven snarled, her teeth flashing as Lyryx put up the most pitiful defenses. “No, that's exactly what it is. You don't get to be all ‘woe is me, I'm so horrible and you're in so much danger around me’, and respect me as an adult at the same time. You…” Kneeven laughed bitterly, shaking her head. “You really don't see it. You don't see me as anything but the pup you met in that ditch, even now.” Kneeven’s face contorted in anger, the mask of angry amusement giving way to an admittedly childish fury. “I could get along just fine without you, you know? I am an adult Lyryx, I don't need you holding my hand! Go back to your parents if you hate it here so much!” Her words were pointed daggers, serrated to inflict the most damage on impact.

Lyryx let out a whimper, his ears slicked back as he pressed himself back into the tree as Kneeven’s anger washed over him in a wave. “Knee…Kneeven…” His voice broke along with his heart. It was his fault she didn't know his family had asked him to leave- he had nowhere to go, same as her. Sure, it was for different reasons- They would always accept him back for a visit, or to get back on his feet if something horrible were to occur but… Sobs broke free from his chest, scraping against his already raw throat as he turned his face away from Kneeven, unable to face the hatred in her eyes. 

“And you know what, since you've forgotten, I was the one who wanted to come out here. I was the one who asked you to get us food after dark. I was the one who got hurt. I was the one who lit that damn fire. So dont-” Kneeven’s teeth flashed, her fury echoing through the trees around her, reverberating through the forest and sending a flock of birds flying away in alarm. Kneeven’s attention snapped, her head swiveling to the trees long enough to hear her own words reflect back at her. Flinching away from the tone in her own voice, her shoulders fell as exhaustion washed in waves over her. “-just… dont.” the words dropped bitterly, cementing the top of her walls as she turned away from Lyryx, taking several steps deeper into the burned remains of their home.

by Babykitten